I'm not very good at titling my posts. too bad!

t-shirt, edited i, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

1. no one gets that sealab 2021 reference. ever. and it's so hilarious.
2 see my edited t-shit, above. stiff 2xl t-shirts are not comfortable, in my opinion. this one is. now.
3. I learned an awesome trick to make facebook events happen on my calendar.
4. be a good sport and pretend that esty doesn't make all of their money on listing fees: click = ♥
5. CHICKENS!

and now for something of substance:
up until the end of last week, my doctors and I discussed open heart surgery. on June 14, 2005, Dr. Chandra used an Amplatzer occluder device (which apparently is no longer available in the United States.... hmmmmm....) to repair a 14mm patent foramen ovale diagnosed by Dr. Tolia. we found out about the pfo the hard way about six weeks before we repaired it. no one is entirely sure what happened because I had been diagnosed as a hypochondriac and having panic attacks for a few years. we aren't sure which of those were transient ischemic attacks and which were seizures, but we do have a good idea which was the full-on stroke.

as a result, I have what my doctors call Parkinsonian symptoms. I don't know the difference between having symptoms as opposed to having the disease, and I don't really care because I don't want to have Parkinson's.

For the most part, I am shaky, clumsy, and slow. I have double vision. the tremor had reached an incapacitating degree-- I could barely write or type-- and my vision got so bad that I used text to speech for anything longer than a line or two.

don't ask how I can still knit and throw. I have no idea, although I'm pretty sure these arts are why I am functional at all. too many doctors have told me that, "it's not that bad," because I can do stuff like that. I disagree that using both hands to drink from a cup is not that bad.

/ bitter

Back to the waiting rooms. back to the electrodes, needles, and gamut of medical gels. It looked like the pfo had reopened. as you can imagine, I went back to smoking and have been drinking a lot.

the good news, though, is that my heart is fine.

(let that sink in)

the bad news is that the "Parkinsonian symptoms" are just getting worse. we increased dosages on the agonists. since I withdrew for medical leave of absence for the term, I have a few weeks to sort everything out.

edited to add:
I got new kiln shelves! bisque fire on sunday!