Friday, April 17, 2009

the weather outside is beautiful

69, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

my favorite fortune broke out from the cookie during a downpour.

Michigan is one of the few places in the world that experiences 30º temperature swings on a daily basis. during the day, though, the sun shines and the air is between 65º and 72º F. absolutely perfect weather.

I left my car windows down last night, and I don't care. it seems like everything I do disappoints someone or someone else or me. I feel like my doctors are lying to me, telling me that I will be able to do school this coming term. my initial assessment at the Cleveland Clinic is May 7, and classes start on May 11.

I feel like I am a fraud for believing I can do law school. this is the second time my health has interrupted my ability to function as a law student so severely that medical intervention is necessary.

(deep breath)

it took four years, but I had finally reached a point where I could appreciate what I do have and be grateful for the good in my life. now, I am frustrated, angry, and entitled. I know I need to, but I have no desire whatsoever to accept that all of medical science can't make me better.

certain I make it look easy, it pisses me off that no one gives me credit for how much I overcome, as if no one else struggles in life.

I fucked up this piece because of my tremor:

usually, I don't keep those pieces. this one, I decided, is important-- for what, I'm not sure.

anytime I use dashes I feel a pang of guilt for not remembering the difference between the em-dash, en-dash, and hyphen. this is what law school does to a person.

1 comment:

Chris said...

Classes had better not start the 11th. We're gonna be in PA that day. ;)

(Also, I give you credit for how much you have overcome.)