Friday, December 26, 2008

they are "elder americans."

let us feast, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

not senior citizens.

family time.

today was balmy, with temperatures in the mid thirties.

if only we were talking celsius.

I paid lip service to the little baby jesus on giftmas eve. catholic school crush (who we have since determined has cooties)'s parents sat in the pew behind my family. we shook hands at the sign of peace and they looked as if they feared I might explode on contact. I smiled and said, "peace be with you, Mrs. Catholic School Crush-- Mr. Catholic School Crush."

I still wonder which if the two of us they are angry with. maybe both. maybe neither. I don't like to believe that things in life can be so far broken beyond hope of repair.

Thursday, December 18, 2008


, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

I'm done with the beardcore hat. it's okay. it is not my best work, but I like it enough to still give it to Shane.

(this is John, by the way-- not Shane. John is a very good sport.)

my friends are the most amazing people ever in the whole wide world.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

getting personal

I finished my first year of law school.

four years ago, at about this time of year, I was desperately trying to keep my life together-- in active denial at the implications of the hours and days I just couldn't move. given as much work as I've been doing this term, I can't figure out how I actually sat for my exams, knowing that I would be having heart surgery in a matter of weeks.

[edit: last time was when I had the upcoming surgery. I'm doing great now.]

I feel like I'm standing at the peak of a very tall mountain. I'm giddy. I can't believe the distance I've covered. I can't believe I stood there, down on the ground, which seems so very far away.

but it's windy, and now I have no idea what to do with myself. every possibility is open to me, and it is all good. it is wonderful.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

day off (kind of)

homage, originally uploaded by nirbhao [EXAM WEEK].

yesterday, a classmate, who I don't interact with very much, approached me and told me that he wants this bowl.

a lot of people want it. I think I might have to sell it.

I will also be making a Karisa Wilson bowl, for Karisa, of course. this type of glazing is fun, and hopefully I will improve with practice.

I don't have an exam today, but, of course, I have a lot of studying for my next two. I'm not worried about torts, but property... man. my goal is to pass the test.

I've been using iwisdom to collect and organize information for my classes. it's a kind of bottom up outline. today, I got excited about my research and writing class because I think it will that powerful of a tool.

nerd for the win!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Sunday, December 7, 2008

lie, but truth

I threw myself a pity party so righteous it inadvertently became a weekend festival. getting port-a-potties on such short notice can be a real chore, though.

a friend agreed with me when I made a statement that is the emotional equivalent of 'this makes me look fat.' yeah, it stung. it occurred to me that if I don't want people to believe those things, I probably shouldn't work so hard to convince them.

I think I was reasonably justified, but, like my brother says, "excuses are like assholes; everyone has one and they all stink."

I watched root of all evil: bloggers v. drinking games this morning. (giggle*snort)

while reading post secret.

ahhaha I bet that's only funny to me.

awesome news:
the glaze firing is done. it only took about 12 hours, which means I'll be able to open the kiln and see my stuff tomorrow after my exams!

yeah. exams. I am having a mild attack about exams. I'm less than a week away from being finished with my first year of law school. it doesn't feel real.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Friday, December 5, 2008


I decided to use every piece of cookware in the house.

I was not successful, but I have a lot of cookware.

I made gluten free bread

delicious gluten free brownies

hardxore real butterscotch pudding
the real deal

it's really hard to find, which makes no sense to me. anyway, hooray!


I showed Shane his beardcore hat yesterday. I think he likes it so far. the plan is to have it finished by the 18th, when I have the touch-up work scheduled.

finally, please keep us michiganders in your thoughts. many of my friends and family aren't sure they will have a job at the end of the month. michigan is already an economic black hole, and I fear that we won't be able to recover from much more damage.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

heads are not 30" around

maybe I should felt it, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

on the plus size, I could have mad this hat into a sweater. it would be the world's warmest and softest sweater ever.

I started over, which is actually a pretty good thing. I can fix my retarded 'r' without double stitching, AND, more importantly, I can change something that would only mildly itch at my brain. as it was, when the bottom was folded up, the main color would be the opposite main color as the rest of the hat. now I can make it so that the main color will be the same no matter which way it is folded up. I will probably also make the logo right way on both sides, like I did for the text. I'm not entirely sure about that, though, because I don't think the backwards logo will be fatal.

in other news, I believe I trimmed my best foot ever in the entire history of trimming feet.

it is effing gorgeous. I should only keep pieces I am this proud of. really. I'm not quite that confident yet.

finally, I found a great software program to manage my law school nerdiness, such as case holdings, hilarious quotes, and elements of claims, crimes, and defenses. and types of property interests and how to create and dissolve them.

now I just get to input these quotes from all of my completely disorganized note cards.

on the plus side, I can categorize in a number of different ways, such as topic (e.g.: rule 11 or future interests), subject, judge, court, and holding and dicta. yes, I am that big of a nerd.

now I just have to decide the order of doing things. I was hoping to be done with civil procedure yesterday, but I just have a tiny bit more. should I input when I am done with the class or when I am done with all of my classes? also, I'm going to have to take my case holding timeline off my studio wall. should I put stuff back up and soon as it is input?

really what I would like to do is put the case holding timeline back up on sunday, when I do my glaze firing.

also, I'm doing a glaze firing on sunday.

Monday, December 1, 2008

second quarter century

I'm flattered into embarrassment by my friends' and family's kindness and generosity.

I also love social networking websites' birthday notifications:
ravelry gave me cake
ravelry cake

and sg gave me a balloon
sg ballon

I had a bit of a 'duh' moment yesterday.

Palmer came with me to the library. the library has so much static energy, especially near exam time, that it's hard to even hold still. Palmer is completely stabilizing. better than any drug out there.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

is it a problem of chemicals or perspective?

I know the holidays are disruptive and everything will be better when I get back into my beloved routine-- when I get the intruders out of my space.

I'm having a bit of a pity party, though, trying to figure out why I just can't be okay.

yes, there is stress in my life, but stress happens. it is a part of life. I need to be able to handle it.

(deep breath)

the beardcore hat is busy being awesome. I'm not sure if it's too big or if it's just bigger than my head. I measured-- I have measured again-- and that all seems to be right. for a while I was thinking I should tear it all out and start again, but I have since decided that it might be a lot cooler felted. I'll keep working on it, because I don't have to decide now. until I actually do felt it, I can always take it out.

you should look at my pictures, too. I spent pretty much all day yesterday in my studio.

it was great.

Friday, November 28, 2008

bad at titles

, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

the case holding time line on the studio wall counts as studying, right?

reasons my family is awesome:
darth vader
pool patrol
brian sturgis
all star team
is anyone going to explain the rules to this game?

Thursday, November 27, 2008

happy thanksgiving

the government gave us a day off to sit around and think about how great our lives are.

unless we work in retail or service (or the military), because apparently the government seeks to further the chasm between blue collar and silk stocking. hmmmmmm........

if you think of anything bad, like family gossip or having to work or the grey hairs taking over your scalp, let it go. when the thoughts enter your head, drop them. take a deep breath and think about your cozy socks, the warm shower that's a little longer than environmentally friendly, and the fact that you are not on fire.

unless you are on fire. if that is the case, STOP PLAYING ON THE INTERNET. then drop and roll. do not run, scream, and burn. then, when the fire is out, be grateful that you are no longer on fire.

if you work in retail or service, take solace that people you encounter are glad you are there for them. they may be cranky, but they are probably just mad at themselves for running out of gas or hemorrhoid creme and do not have the cognizance or self-control to not take it out on you.

don't be the cranky person, either. that's not cool.

to my classmates who are finishing their memo, be impressed with yourself for coming this far and grateful that the library is open until midnight.

(I think.)

anyway. don't be too cool to say, "happy thanksgiving." we try to be all poetic about what that really means, but there is no reason to try so hard. the gratefulness is there. entertain it.

post script: I subscribed some people to receive blog updates via email. we all know that I am a show off, so let's not pretend to be surprised. if you would like to not be subscribed, just say, "hey, shine, not so cool."

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

the awesomeness continues

, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

everyone wants to be a part of the party of chickens!

I get spoiled. my friends are such amazing people that I am surprised when other people are not so amazing. douchebaggery should not be so common.

on the one hand, this feels like a callous decent into being jaded. on the other, I feel extreme gratitude that people in my life are so exceptional.

Monday, November 24, 2008

a few things:

1. I put stuff up in my etsy shop again.
2 you will also notice my "mini etsy" on the right.
3. this blog is imported to my sg blog. the html doesn't convert, and if I care enough at the time, I will fix that.
4. exams are in two weeks.
5. we have gorgeous big fluffy snowflakes making people crash their cars.


Saturday, November 22, 2008

strained video game analogy deleted

how are you doing today?, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

I glazed this piece yesterday. I spent hours on it. I spent hours putting a timeline of caselaw on my studio wall. I made pancakes, and it took hours to eat them.

I finished my first year of law school last time, but I'm not entirely sure how. I knew before I took exams that I would have heart surgery within a matter of weeks.

cooley's michaelmas term's exams are in two weeks. I have no health excuse to hide behind this time.

my tremor is so obvious....

Thursday, November 20, 2008

want some?

all I care about is making them. they don't need to sit around my house and get dusty, or get knocked over and break.

I would like to be able to continue my artistic endeavors, so, you know, make me an offer or something.

seeking a good home:
big sky can't live without addiction tree of life
some of these shots are more documentary than others useless

the last one is two pieces.

click on any of the thumbnails to go to the big picture, and from there you can get more information and more pictures.

I'm tired.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

couldn't wait

, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

seriously. I have no impulse control.

I took a lot of pictures. to see my ceramics photo collection, click = .


Monday, November 17, 2008


, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

compositionally speaking, this is not a great photo. BUT! BUT! look at how it is actually working! the text is right ways on both sides, too. I can't even begin to tell you how exciting this is for me.

click here for the color chart.

btb (which is 'by the by,' acronymatically) I am beyond eager to open my kiln.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

it's snowing

, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

I love snow.

my kiln has been heating up for the past four hours. we'll be firing to cone six today!

firing is one of my favorite things ever in the whole universe. when I open the kiln (wednesday), I get to see functional and aesthetically pleasing pieces that came from mud and glass. it's magical.

Friday, November 14, 2008

why I spend my friday nights at home

the bars don't begin to compare:

of course, I'm always thrilled about the chickens.

the obama bowl will not be ready for the firing. I'm eager to see how it will come out, but it's not worth rushing it.

the fiddle bowl. all hail. I actually have people giving me a hard time about not giving it to them. I tend to think people take my stuff just to humor me, and so it makes me giddy when people actually like them. I spent an hour or so (um. under the influence) telling John how huge a compliment it is that he wears the socks I made him.

I appreciate that I am bragging, but really it means a lot to me that people actually like my stuff.


this is what I do while I'm at work. that's right: it's a double knit chart for text that will be right way on both sides.

I'm thrilled to watch it come into being.

I am the world's biggest nerd and you wouldn't have me any other way.

and of course:

the sock yarn blanket.

as always, pictures are links to the photos within my flickr photostream.

a few things

1. the hat is freaking awesome. the zealous ambition, hopefully, will lead to a finished product I can be proud of.
2. I'm doing a glaze firing on sunday. I am also giddy about this.
3. the obama bowl will not be ready, but I will be firing again before giftmas. I'm eager to see how it turns out, but I can't rush it.
4. I was going to take pictures today. really, I was. it comes down to priorities, and I guess pictures fall pretty low on the list.
5. I don't know where the past 11 weeks went. I can't believe I'm almost done with my second term.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

deep breath

I'm starting the beardcore hat for my tattoo artist.

that's right:
a double knit free hand hat with text that will be right side on either side.

I am insane.

oh! oh! plus!

I'm doing a provisional cast on so I can do an i-cord border.


if you want to do math that will make you feel very stupid, try double knit decreases in the round. should be AWESOME.

Friday, November 7, 2008

dredging up the old photos

red hat, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

I made this hat for my mom's 50th birthday. I wanted to do a big hat with a wide brim, but I had no idea how. up until that point, I had really only used free patterns because I knew I needed to read stuff first to decide if I wanted to do it.

after some research, I fell in love with Annie Modesitt. I had never done millinery before-- really never even lace-- but I loved the spectator grand so much I bought two more patterns and made them, too.

I had a really good time making the hats. I should do it again.

as for the photo---
back in the dark ages *cough*2004*cough,* a 3.2 megapixel was the best an amateur could afford. yep. it's hard to believe I ever thought that looked good.

in other news!
I have two designs for my bowls that I'm working on. both are pretty complex, but I'm just about giddy watching them turn out. one is a secret for my family, and the other is going to be a "faux screenprint" Obama bowl. yes, I am that big of a nerd.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

the day after

citizens of the united states most certainly are proud of the dignified resolution of this 2008 presidential electoral race.

the past two elections felt very much like battle of egos, a 'gimme!' and 'mine!' arguement-- spoiled brats pulling apart a treasured teddy bear and tearing it, spilling its fragile fluffy guts.

either McCain or Obama would have served the nation to the best of his abilities-- and really served. both candidates truly seemed most interested in what is best for the country. the negative campaigning was intense, but, as country that so firmly embraces free speech, the debate speaks to the willingness and desire to learn and express as much as possible about our candidates.

the united states of america has "a profound national commitment to the principle that debate on public issues should be uninhibited, robust, and wide-open, and that it may well include vehement, caustic, and sometimes unpleasantly sharp attacks on government and public officials." New York Times Co. v. Sullivan, 376 U.S. 254, 84 S.Ct. 710.

McCain's concession speech was gracious and grateful. Obama reminded me of Kennedy.

hopefully the similarities don't run much further than the statesmanship.

I can't quite study enough right now. (no-- I did not study while watching election coverage last night)

I was, however, able to unload my kiln yesterday. my pieces shrunk a lot more than I had expected-- or maybe it just seemed like it. the things we make always seem to get smaller with time, don't they? anyway, I haven't even looked in my studio since unloading. I'm looking forward to glazing.
congratulations, President-Elect Obama.

Monday, November 3, 2008

monday = post office day

, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

since I've been doing the yarn swaps, mondays mean all kinds of fun new yarn in my mailbox. it, of course, also means that I'm sending out a bunch of yarn. sometimes I think, "maybe I should just buy these yarns." today I paid about $20 in postage. in return, I got about $100 worth of yarn.

not that I didn't buy the yarn I'm sending out in the first place, but I am not using it. I'm not going to use it. I've also been exposed to yarns I would have never known about, much less sought out-- antique yarns, discontinued yarns, and homespun.

if you're on ravelry, go check out my stash.

everyone get pumped about voting tomorrow! w00t!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

yesterday's soup de jour

the bisque went well. it was shorter than I expected. I hope I did things right with the kiln sitter.

I got a new fire extinguisher. the clerk said, "hopefully you never have to use it!"

I can't decide if that was a really good joke or a really bad one.

now for the waiting....

everything is very good. there is a lot going on. it's been set into motion and now it happens on its own.

Friday, October 31, 2008

on the eve

everything, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

I set it out on the counter. I took pictures of each piece individually. i loaded the kiln.

I made delicious (I hope) gluten free brownies.

now I am exhausted. it's a good thing I did all of this compulsive organizing on flickr tonight instead of tomorrow when I am at work and bored.

no, seriously-- firing is like giftmas for me. I love it.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

for saturday

7 bowls
7 bobbin bowls
6 wine bottle holders
1 "abstract"

I wanted to have 12 bobbin bowls, and I will throw a bit tomorrow morning, but even that is pushing it.


I have a lot of pictures to process.

(as always, clicking the photo will take you to my flickr photostream)

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Saturday, October 25, 2008

elbow deep in dirt (and it's wonderful)

somebody (Jenn.) introduced me to bobbin bowls. I made three last night. I am going to make more. the ones I made are itty bitty.

throwing itty bitty is *really* hard for me. throwing big means that when I jerk the piece around, I don't completely destroy it. I want to make tiny delicate giftmas tree globes.

there is a line I haven't quite figured out between things I need to learn how to do and things that just require accommodation. The tripod for my camera (or continuous exposure, because I am way too lazy to use a tripod) is a reasonable accommodation. is throwing off the hump something I just can't do?

John said, "you walk into a room and you feel like you have to explain yourself to everyone." if he had a disability, that would be sympathetic. it would mean that he understands the discomfort and awkwardness. John doesn't have a disability. John is good at calling me out on my shit. what his statement meant was that I don't have to explain myself.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

the sun rises

I was in my studio by 7am this morning.

as it turns out, I am still terrible at throwing off the hump. I did a *very* nice foot on one of the bowls, though. I'm getting pretty excited about this next bisque.

one of the pieces that I threw the other day cracked as it was drying. it looked like just a little crack in the bottom. I like to float the pieces in the reclaim bin because it is fun to watch them sink, and if the water is still enough, they collect on top of the other clay in such a way that I can still tell what piece it was.

as I expected, the clay around the crack started absorbing water right away. what I didn't realize was that the crack spiraled up the wall of the bowl about one and a half times. this is the really cool part: the bowl spun! as it was dissolving, it turned in circles on top of the water. it was quick, too, and consistent.

science is neat.

I made a decision about my job. when I am relieved with a decision, I know it was the right thing.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I'm not paid enough to make it worth my time

ah, this job. at least I can play on the internet.... for several hours at a time..... guh.

I have to study. I want to throw and knit. I really should clean.

I'm eight weeks behind on my penpal letters. I haven't biked in about the same amount of time. my social life is non-existent.

if I stay up past 10, I get sad. there's only so much I can do at 6am.

that's not true. I can throw, knit, clean, study... any of those things. clearly I am just whining. clearly I am just not that motivated at 6am.


Thursday, October 16, 2008

Sunday, October 12, 2008

my outline is better than the casebook!

unfortunately, too few of my classmates get the reference.

(my outline is most definitely neither better nor longer than the casebook)

I started a bit too late this term, but, man.... there were things I planned to do this weekend, like laundry. the best I can do about the studio is gaze longingly. I am setting aside time tomorrow both for biking and throwing. it's important to nurture all aspects of health.

it occurred to me that, for all of my insecurities, I can't complain without also bragging. my life is just too fucking great. that's bragging, right? except what I am really trying to convey is how grateful I am for the disproportionate awesomeness the universe has bestowed on me.

anyway, I got through the crushing-sadness-for-no-reason and am now back to overwhelming euphoria. woo! bipolar!

Saturday, October 11, 2008


loves of my life, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

I met Cookie A. yes, I am that much of a nerd that I am bragging about my celebrity encounter. celebrity for her sock knitting patterns.

hellz yes.

she even gave me a little bit of yarn and said that she would be honored to have a square in my blanket. (warm fuzzies)

so, yes, I am a nerd. however, if I am going to think a person is really cool, it may as well be an independent and creative woman whose artistic ability brings her fame.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

delicious yarn

, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

everyone should be in love with Lorilee of city knitting, because she is amazing.

and also because she feeds my sock yarn addiction.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

spinning my wheels

I guess I have a bit of cabin fever.

this is post number 64, by the way. 64 is one of my favorite numbers.

this is the bowl that I was talking about earlier:

I've been thinking about selling my work, largely because I could use the money. I'm still hesitant, given how obvious my tremor is. giving them away allows me to pretend they aren't worth anything because of my defect.

this past weekend I was glazing, and what felt right was even, consistent, solid coats. nothing fancy at all. when I did dip glazing, solid colors were about as lazy as a person could get. I decided that it's okay and just to go with it for now.

I am planning extremely intricate works. yesterday, I tried to make one happen and it just didn't. the planning becomes even more complex. it should be gorgeous when it comes into being.

I also have decided that I want to make a gigantic box for my fiber works. I'm doing some sketching, measuring, and planning. it will be an involved project, and I will need a good deal of space and time to make it happen. I like it that I am taking the time to plan it out well. a lot of times, I get excited about these project and start them before I have them entirely figured out. in the past, that has worked out pretty okay.

I'm coming to terms with my status as hedonistic nun.