Tuesday, September 30, 2008


from Tony, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

the harassment is beginning to pay off.

people are pretty awesome. these designs thrill me. thanks for participating. this is going to be a wonderful project.

you, too, can join the party.

Monday, September 29, 2008

buy me things

no, seriously.

Koigu mill ends

so perfect for my sock yarn blanket.... sooooo expensive....

in less greedy news, I received the hand-dyed swap yarn. I am currently dying of awesome.

I am picturing what I am going to take to the hospital (especially if they make me go early): tons of yarn, all of my case books, probably my camera because I am a nerd like that, and maybe some pyjamas. haha

Sunday, September 28, 2008

I prefer the solid colors

, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

garter is insanely faster than stockinette. I keep making people squeeze it, because it is super squishy and nice.

/ emo

I've been doing a lot of sleeping, whining, bitching, moaning, complaining, pouting, sleeping, being hungry, and studying lately.

actually, I've been really good about studying.

I am going to take pictures and *maybe* play with clay. and make delicious .... cream of wheat. also, Shane will probably come hang out with me. huzzah!

Friday, September 26, 2008

poor coping mechanisms

I always create boy problems when my health goes sideways. this is bad for a number of reasons:
1. it doesn't actually make the health issues go away,
2 it dredges up unnecessary drama, and, most importantly,
3. I hurt people that I care about.

I understand that you can't handle it. I wish I didn't have to. I did my best to not. I'm sorry.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

buck up

we always have the option to avoid.

you encouraged me to confront my shit. I thought you would be able to do the same.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

dear facebook people

I reactivated my facebook account. again. I've actually been reactivated more than a few hours now, so we're working on a new record.

reasons I don't like social network websites:
1. seriously who has time for this bullshit?
2 everyone can see everything. to quote the resplendent william shatner, "that's too much knowledge!"
3. life becomes a performance. it's an exercise in self-spin. which angle of my personality makes me look best?
4. I'm a real person and would like to interact like one. it makes me sad when I am in reality with another person and that person pays more attention to the internet than anyone or anything around.
5. e-hugs are nowhere near as awesome as the real thing.

plus I have this bizarre compulsion to add as a "friend" anyone I know even remotely. then we don't interact and I get sad.

silly, I know.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

happy tuesday

No religion is an acting factor that changes or even influences a person. Religion, as an institution, is a corpse. Books and scriptures are still and lifeless. When we have faith, God comes alive within us.

This morning, I figured out how to actually write legal analysis. Our instructors explain it to us repeatedly, and I didn't think I didn't understand. This morning, it clicked. There was an audible clicking noise! (not really) It makes sense now. I'm excited to write more.

(It's still hard work)

I am either invincible or really whiny. I can't decide. I've spent the past week amazed that I don't pass out and die. Every day I don't think I can feel much worse. The crazy thing is that I'm happy. I'm happy and incredibly functional. I still hurt. I still get tired, and when I am tired it is much harder to be okay. I'm also hungry.

Last night I decided that I need a warm gigantic cakey chocolate EDGE brownie with cream cheese baked in the top. I haven't had chocolate in months, and really nothing else sounds better right now.

I guess this whole thing is an exercise in the difference between want and need, and how easy it is to go without what I don't need.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

take care of yourself

venezia, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

shine's first term gpa: 2.62.

compared to my over-achieving younger siblings, that's not so great. compared to where I was months after my stroke and heart surgery?


I bought myself a congratulatory present: laura biagiotti's venezia.

if you can find it for less than $100 an ounce, let me know.

Friday, September 19, 2008


, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

this is the part of my sock yarn blanket that fits on the scanner. it is squishy and soft and I love it.

I see my surgeon today. I should be able to add a few squares while waiting.

Thursday, September 18, 2008


wow, originally uploaded by MannaMe.

this is not my photo. it's one of those photos that I have to look at repeatedly. every time I look I see something new in it.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008


I unloaded the kiln last night. weeeeeee!!!!

it's like giftmas.

one of my pieces cracked. it makes me wish I had a big dumpster so I could throw it and hear it break, like we did at school. one of my pieces cracked last time, too, so I think I just need to be more careful about drying. I don't think my firing technique is bad.

as for the chickens, there is only one clause to describe them: effing awesome. I'm giddy about the project. I've been leaving postcards around and giving my friends templates. I am so harassing my friends and they are such good sports.


also, my friends are amazing in general. I don't think I tell you often enough how much I love you and how grateful I am to have you in my life.

in law school news, I now have three out of four grades back from last term. I'm pulling a B average. while I could do better, I am pleased. I am working harder (so far) this term. plus I am not dying, which is a huge advantage.

I will have a minor, outpatient surgery soonish to remove my gallbladder. yea! normal people problems! yea! fixable problems!

boo surgery.

yea! feeling better!


I've spent a lot of time in the hospital and at doctor offices this past week, and so my sock yarn blanket is coming along quickly. I've reached the point where I have re-incorporated all of the yarn in the original blanket-- not all of the yarn itself, but all of the colors. I'm being more random this time around, and so I am making one square at a time. I have bobbins loaded with upcoming colors and a little box of colors used and to use. I'm glad I started over.

happy tuesday!

Saturday, September 13, 2008


turned on the kiln. it's been raining the past few days. my studio is slightly flooded. everything is damp. if I weren't such an idiot, I would wait to fire. instead, I will just take it slow.

nothing has exploded or otherwise set on fire yet.

I had to turn up the heat a lot earlier than I expected. (4:45)

things are good. I'm listening to Mike's fake indie band. I adore this kid. you should, too.


telecom's out. oh no how can we live without tv? anyway.
increased power to 2 at 7:30.

increased power to 3. I think I waited too long to increase it to 2.
I've decided I want someone to feel like the luckiest person in the world for having me, lounging around in my worn out jeans and shelf bra tank top.

starting to glow!

increased power to 4. telecom's back up. w00t. also, check out the progress on the sock yarn blanket:

everything is dandy. I'm taking an effing nap.

increased power to 5.


increased power to6.

it's been kind of moving back a little since 1.... it's actually 4:40. anyway! things are good. glowing from the inside. I still can make out details. all cones still upright.
I made a group for my army of chickens project. it's not so much a group so that people can join, but so that all of the pictures can be in one place with an easy url.

increased power to 7

increased power to 8

7:45ish am
increased power to 9
um. all three of my cones are still standing. (6, 8, 10). I would have expected the 6 to bend by now.

looks like the telecom is down again.... not entirely sure, though.
the sun is up but the rain has not slowed down.
it looks like cone 8 tipped. I'm wondering if the cone 6 just didn't look like it tipped because it is too small for the holder. it would not be so great if all of a sudden the kiln increased so quickly to pass both cone 6 and cone 8 in one hour.

cone 10 is starting to tip.


Thursday, September 11, 2008

broke through another bottom

when I trimmed the foot on the ...um.... broken bowl, I thought I had made the base a little too thin. I kept it because I am still not confident enough to destroy things I know aren't awesome.

well. there's a reason to toss those pieces before getting too emotionally attached.

I'll be firing this weekend. woo!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008


tell me a wonderful, once in a lifetime event you have experienced.

(comments are private)

Sunday, September 7, 2008

dust to dust, ashes to ashes...

click them and pretend you love me.
starting tomorrow... well. I am sad.

this girl sold me noro kureyon for way cheap. I don't know what's wrong with her.

kureyon, my love

, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

(contented sigh)

Saturday, September 6, 2008

dear law school: I miss my friends

I've actually been a terrible friend lately. I'm needy and whiny. my friends have been extremely patient and understanding, and I am grateful. I'm afraid to contact them directly and tell them how grateful I am because I've been harassing them so thoroughly.

regarding the academic endeavor, I love all of my professors this term. I am also the gigantic nerd who loves civil procedure, and so I'm excited to have that class. the last time I took it, my professor was from brazil. I hear so many of the words in his accent, and I love it. penoyer, impleader, jurisdiction... yep. I'm a nerd. you know you love it.

regarding the arts, I've only played with clay a few hours this week. I'm pleased with what's come of it, but... it's not very much. I take breaks when I am studying to knit. generally, after an hour or so, I knit four rows on my sock yarn blanket. I like it better now and am glad I started over.

pictures! I take a lot of pictures, mostly documentary style-- a lot of yarn. it's the processing that takes time. I've also started receiving chicken designs, and I need to scan and post them. I am nerdily excited about this project.

my tremor has been really bad lately. tremor, I say to you: fuck you.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


I got noro sock yarn! yea!

school started yesterday. my contracts professor could wear tight blank vinyl and stiletto heels and be no more intimidating. I *love* her. she's going to kick my ass, but that's what I pay for!

haha law school = bsdm

Monday, September 1, 2008

I'm glad I started over

, originally uploaded by nirbhao.

that's all I have now-- six little squares. it's kind of terrifying to undo hours of work like I did. it's all gone.

I like it this way a lot better. it is softer and feels heavier (even though it isn't actually).

the bowl with the mismatched foot broke. relief.